I found out that one of the children who was at the daycare I worked at years ago is now in the Children's Hospital. She has MS and has always been in a wheel chair. It was really great working with her. I was the only one strong enough at the daycare to be able to hold her and take her down slides and swing with her. It turns out that her back is really crooked and bent out of shape. In order to fix it, they need to fuse her spine. (not really sure what they mean, but sounds intense) And, in order to do this, she needs to double her weight. She's always been just skin and bones, and they don't think she can do it. They don't think she is going to make it. This is also why I was punching the milk carton. To get the frustration and sadness out.
I don't even feel like getting out of bed in the morning. I don't want to get up and put on makeup and do my hair. I barely have the will to lift my toothbrush to my face. I need someone to talk to. Not just anyone will do. I need you.